Somatic Tools for Emotional Regulation
This time of year seems to be one that can bring about a lot of emotional turmoil. Whether that’s a result of the darker days, loneliness or grief around the holidays, or distress about navigating family dynamics… the list could go on and on.
To go into the holiday season prepared, let’s dive into some tools for emotional regulation.
One goal of emotional regulation is to increase resilience, positive emotions, and your ability to cope with difficult things. These skills aim to reduce suffering when painful emotions overcome you, and help you to manage extreme emotions so things don’t get worse.
Story follows State
The “story” of our thoughts and emotions are a direct reflection of the “state” of our nervous system. Thus, I always suggest first checking in with your body. What is going on with the state of your nervous system? What does your body need? Check out my past blog post on the Autonomic Hierarchy to get a sense for what’s going on under the surface.
The skills in this post will approach emotional regulation from a somatic, body-based lens. (Stay tuned for Part 2 where we discuss tools to help manage extreme emotions from a mindfulness and skills-based approach).
These strategies are all about sending your body signals of safety, and discharging mobilizing emotions. This will help support the emotion and associated sensations to move through you as you more easily make your way back into your window of tolerance.
What Emotions Do for You
Emotions serve a purpose. For one, they help motivate and organize us for action. (Ever get going on a project or studying for an exam because of anxiety?) Emotions also communicate to others how we’re feeling, and can influence their emotions as well. Importantly, they can also communicate information to ourselves about how we are feeling.
Our aim with emotional regulation skills is not to “get rid of” distressing emotions, but rather to learn how to support yourself through it.
Why These Skills Work
These skills utilize the power of the Vagus Nerve. "Vagus nerve" roughly translates to “the wandering nerve” which makes sense given that the vagus nerve is the longest in the human body, running from the brain stem, descending all the way down to your abdomen, and reaching into a part of the colon.
The vagus nerve touches almost every major organ on the way down, including the heart, and is involved in regulation of breathing, heartbeat, muscle work, digestion process, and much much more!
Lots of fascinating research has come out regarding the role of the vagus nerve in emotional regulation. It is believed that the strength of your vagus nerve – or, as it’s called, your vagal tone – is also directly connected to your metabolism and healthy immune function.
On the flip side, low vagal tone is associated with depression, poor emotional health, inflammations, and even your body’s resistance to stress.
Stimulating your vagus nerve can help shift an overactive sympathetic dominant nervous system (think: fight or flight) into a more balanced, parasympathetic state (think: rest and digest).
The Vagus Nerve is like an information superhighway, sending and receiving messages to and from the brain and the body.
The interesting thing is that 80% of the messages sent along the Vagus Nerve are FROM the body, TO the brain. The remaining 20% are messages the brain sends to the body.
This means that we have ample opportunity to use our body to send signals of safety to the brain through the following techniques.
5 Somatic Tools for Emotional Regulation
Containment
Apply gentle pressure to any part of your body experiencing activating sensations.
Place your hand on your heart and/or your belly.
Give yourself a hug.
Wrap yourself with a blanket.
2. Grounding
Notice your feet on the ground or your hips in your seat
Allow yourself to get heavier as gravity pulls you down to earth
Use your hand to swipe down your body anywhere you feel sensation
Relax your muscles. Notice them soften and let go as you do
Touch the earth with your bare skin
3. Shaking
One way we experience emotions in our body is through sensations. Notice is your distressing or uncomfortable emotion seems to have a lot of energy behind it. If so, shaking is one way to discharge the mobilizing energy behind the emotion so that you can feel more relaxed and at ease. Some ways to do that include:
Shake out your limbs
Wiggle throughout your spine
Shake out any area of the body you feel sensations
Experiment with somatic shaking, standing in place, bouncing your knees and allowing the rest of your body to organically shake
4. Swaying
When we’re tense and tight from trying to deal with our emotions, the gentle movement from swaying releases a cascade of endorphins that shifts us into a calming, more relaxing state and lessens our level of distress. As a bonus, swaying improves circulation by sending more oxygen to our joints, which can reduce inflammation and pain. From cradling newborn babies, relaxing in a hammock, gliding on a porch swing- we do these things innately at times. There are numerous health benefits, which science is finally now also starting to demonstrate.
While seated, slowly shift your weight from one hip to the other. Practice letting your spine be fluid and wavy as you move back and forth. Imagine being a blade of grass swaying in the wind.
While standing, shift from one foot to the other. Relax your pelvic floor, hips, belly, and shoulders.
5. Humming
The following techniques stimulates the vagus nerve and gently vibrates the muscles and organs. The vagus nerve directly impacts how our bodies respond to stress.
With your lips together, inhale and hum as you breathe out. How deep in your body can you bring that sound?
Inhale, and exhale to release the sound VOO. Try to connect with the vibration in your diaphragm as you create the sound.
Sing or chant (It doesn’t have to sound good! Focus on how it feels instead!)
BONUS: Gargle! This can also help tone your vagus nerve so that you more efficiently send and receive signals of safety!